A Single Parent Purpose

Do I have to wait until he hits me to leave?” That is what I asked the priest in 1991.

On the one hand my husband was very clear that I had made a commitment and he expected me to fulfill it. On the other hand, he was unhappy in the marriage and wanted me out, hence the kicking the bed.

I did not leave after this incident, I wanted the marriage to work. But I did leave before he hit me. And he fought the divorce.

When we hear reports of abuse, we think it’s an easy answer. The abused person should get out. However, the messages are mixed. What does one do when hearing, “leave, don’t go”? “Make the best of it”, “It’s your duty”, “Marriage is a sacrament”

And then when you call to find a place to live, apartment managers want each child to have their own bedroom. What single parent can afford a three bedroom apartment, when they make less than $10 an hour?

And government housing has a six month waiting list.

And a broken marriage wasn’t part of the plan.

It’s hard to sort out what to do in a situation like this.

What has been your experience? Have you faced a time when you received mixed messages? What did you do? Comment below.

Laura C. Ries
Single Parent Purpose

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